It was the spring of 2012 I paid a visit to my Grandmother down in Florida. During my visit I stayed a few nights with my cousin Hanna at her condo. She was living with her then boyfriend, more like he was living with her. He was a few years older, with 11 year old son, no job, and car with two flats. I know he wasn’t like this when they first met, or so I heard and I don’t know what happened as to why he got lazy.
According to my observation he was a dead beat and taking advantage of my cousin. I hate to see anyone being taken advantage of, let along my cousin. I decided to share my opinion with her. Informing her that from the looks of it he was more of a roommate than a caring boyfriend.
By repeating the information she shared with me I was hoping she would see it without the rose colored glasses. When you're in a relationship you don't always see what's going on, because you're blinded by love. Also stating that every time his son slept over Fernando would sleep with his son in the guest room, which I thought was sweet until I found out that it was going on for over 3 years. My thoughts were that if he loved my cousin he would try to explain to his son that he is getting to an age where he needs to sleep with out him, not leaving my cousin alone. (but thats me). When she told me he didn’t want children, I felt that was the straw that broke the camels back.
Hanna loves kids when we were younger she would always want to baby sit the younger kids, if we played house she always wanted to be the mommy. Being a mom was her dream, and for her to be with someone who didn’t want children seemed like her dream would never come true. If there was an equal partnership and an understanding this would be a different situation, but this deadbeat freeloading off of my cousin needed to go. I Wanted her to find someone worthy of her love, and it was worth mentioning. I'm not sure how she took the information but right after our talk we paid her mother a visit at her step fathers office. She asked me to stay in the car because it would be a quick stop. From what I could see she was crying in her mothers arms.
Was she crying from what I said? or because it was true???
My intentions were not to hurst my cousins feelings and make her feel sad in any way. I just wanted more for her. I wanted Hanna to see her value. She was pretty much bringing the whole table. My cousin is a beautiful smart woman who has attained so much on her own. She was the first one to have career and buy her own condo before 30. I know she would accomplish more if she wasn’t carrying dead weight.
We hung out a few more times going to the movies and even going to dinner but never speaking about what went on. My two weeks were up and I was back in New York in my adventures.
Through the grape vine I was told she and Fernando had a conversation about children and marriage and ended up dumping Fernando.
What I've learned about dating is that you can't have a relationship with a person who doesn’t share your values.
Fast forward it's now 2021 and my cousin Hanna is in a happy relationship, she the owner of her childhood home, and has a handsome son named Brice. Having everything she ever wanted a partner and the baby of her dreams. She has been praying to go for a blonde haired baby boy (her exact words) since she was a little girl until she finally got it. He is the cutest little thing and I am so happy for her. I am so glad she took the steps forward to stand her ground for what she deserves. Living her best life with the love of her life.
In life we have choices, and I choose to be happy. If I make someone unhappy by telling them the truth, I hope they see that one day that truth will make them happy. one day
Share your thoughts... Rosie@HoodHonest.com
please be safe, do good things, and live happy...
This is Rosie La Madrina and welcome to my Ted Talk...
Comments